11 January 2008

First Step

So, although I do not hold to New Year's Resolutions, there are things that I do want to accomplish this year, and in the years to come. Things that I want to start new, things that I want to change that are old...much older than they should be in my Life.

I deal much better with concreteness in Life, much more than going with the flow (trust me, ask the ones who know me), and although that is something I want to change, I am looking for a little guidance in the familiar.

So, I am reading a book. This one, in fact. I like what she has to say, and I am not trying to speed through it and believe I know it all. Well, most of it I do know, the point is if I know it, why can't I do it? Why can't I get off the couch and exercise, why can't I complete any of my knitting class projects, why can't I have a normal, light conversation with the person who means most to me on this planet...what is it that I am doing now? And, as Ryan points out, what is the behaviour I am doing now enabling me to do/avoid/resist changing? That is what I need to discover next.

And that isn't between the pages of this book. But in my own.