28 September 2008

Seeing the Horizon...

Ocean sailing
Originally uploaded by booksnyarn
Sometimes, I am not very good at seeing what the Path is like in front of me. I am too busy trying to make sure that I get to the horizon, that far off goal where your road meets the sky, the end of the rainbow, the gold ring from the merry-go-round.

This has always been an issue for me. I have believed for a long time that I am an intelligent, quiet, focused person and that things that I have gotten in my Life that I have wanted came unexpectedly. By chance.

I have left a lot to chance, and now am finding myself reexamining many of those situations and realizing that I made those situations happen by actually doing something in the present. I got the first job I really loved - in a bookstore, surprise - by making myself known to the staff on several occasions. I found the kind of friends I wanted by being in the spaces and places I love - theaters and bookstores and libraries. That Love is not owned, but given freely, and part of that freedom is watching the ones you love go be something they cannot with you.

I am reminded again and again how I am bound to this Earth in spiritual worship by gardening and hiking, hugging trees and sitting on the porch in the rain. Making sure my bare feet touch the ground each day.

Otherwise I find myself disconnected, falling into sadness and wanting someone to come save me from the crisis I created in the first place. I know that most of my friends are scattered over the world, that measured time seems to move faster than anything else. And truthfully, many of those people I wouldn't talk to unless I reach out and share myself. But people have to share their energy to survive. The spiral goes in both directions - and it cannot be recharged and given without getting some back, somewhere, from someone.

So, sometimes it is nice to look to the horizon, to know that you are going somewhere and enjoy the view. However, the horizon never is a stopping point, and you need to make sure to see what is around you to stay on the right Path.

Enjoy the journey, it's what Life is.