28 October 2008

Write to Marry Day - No on 8

October 29 is Write to Marry Day, where (hopefully) bloggers from all over will be writing about how they oppose Proposition 8, the ballot initiative in California to reverse the court's decision to allow same-sex marriage.

I am quite fortunate.

I currently live in Massachusetts, where
in 2004 the Supreme Judicial
Court of MA ruled in the case of Goodridge v. Dept. of Public Health that, it was unconstitutional under the state constitution that only heterosexual couples could marry. We were the first U.S. state, but other countries had already made similar decisions: the Netherlands, Belgium, Ontario, British Columbia and Quebec. Even with the ballot initiative to rescind this decision our Legislature seemed to acknowledge, with its failure to pass the initiative in 2007, that same-sex marriage has not destroyed any institution, violated any sanctity, or diminished the value of any other marriage already in existence.

Now California is heading for its fight on Election Day. In June 2008, the court overturned the state ban on same-sex marriage. Proposition 8 is on the ballot as the "Eliminate Rights of Same-Sex Couples to Marry Act". Rather clear, don't you think?

There has been a lot of time, money and resources thrown at this from both sides of the fence. I cannot speak for anyone else but myself, my own thoughts and actions. I will argue my own stance, and hope that enough people will agree.

I have been married once. And divorced.

Now I am in another relationship. And I am fortunate.

If we ever decide down the line that we want to marry, we can. Because I live in a state that has fought its battle for same-sex marriage and won. We were the first but we don't want to be the last.

I want California to keep same-sex marriage legal. I oppose Prop. 8.

No, I am not Apple, or Google, or Ellen. I am just a small-town girl with two kids, two cats, too much yarn, too many books and a desire for more ink. But I also have the choice, and the right, to marry whomever I love, whichever sex they are. And I want the same for everyone else.

I can't vote in California, but I can show my support. So can you.


  1. Amen to that! I am one of the many, many non-Californians who took advantage of the ability to marry during the past few months and I sincerely hope that on November 5th I am still legally married. In our case, it doesn't do us one bit of legal good to be married, since MN doesn't recognize our marriage, but we did it for us anyway. It would be nice, however, to be able to pay for my wife's benefits before taxes instead of after, to be able to claim "marriage" discounts on things like insurance, and to claim and be responsible for the more than 1300 rights and responsibilities that come with being part of a married heterosexual couple.

    Like you, I have been married and divorced before. That marriage lasted all of 2 years. This relationship has lasted more than 10. Yet somehow my marrying my wife is going to bring down society. *sigh*

  2. My Thoughts-We need to come up with a new proposition...

    A Proposition that frames all the same legal benefits as marriage with a different name than “marriage” would go much further in dispelling all of the emotional arguments that have polarized during the Proposition 8 ballot issues. I think that we would gain the most momentum by formulating a new Proposition and stick to arguing for the same civil rights given in a conventional marriage. Under the constitution, we would have much stronger footing fighting for civil requests that do not intertwine with matters of Faith and religion. I don’t think that the conservative Christians that protested “gay marriages” really cared about the validation of the lives of gay men and women but felt defensive over issues that are not that important to the gay community. It is my observation that there is not a general awareness regarding the differences between Domestic Partnerships and the civil liberties afforded in a conventional "marriage". I think there would be an easier fight to reframe “marriage” as a “civil union”, with federal and state equalization of the rights in a conventional "marriage" only calling a gay version a different name. If some other term is used that stays away from all of the conservative Christian "buttons" that triggered the extreme polarization of the Prop 8 issues the civil rights would most like prevail.

  3. My post in this is a little less...polite than yours.

    (btw am a friend of slipjig's)