19 February 2009

If I Were a Muppet...

I watched the Muppet Show faithfully as a kid - probably too faithfully. So to find this quiz was a temptation I could not avoid:

Your Result

You are Janice.
You dig the groove man, nothing can bum you out. Too bad you're too stoned to notice.
INSTRUMENT:Like, you know, guitar, fer sure.
LAST BOOK READ:"Finding Your Past Lives on the Web"
FAVORITE EXPRESSION:"Fer sure, like, fer sure."
FAVORITE THINGS:Peace, love and, like, granola, totally.

It is amusing... I was just discussing Janice with a friend. I don't play guitar though...

13 February 2009

What About Love? Some/thing Blue

This is Part 4 celebrating Freedom to Marry Week. The blog carnival I am part of can be found at the Other Mother.

This will also be short and sweet - I can see blue sky today, which I am very thankful for. I am hopping a plane today to see J. and spend some much needed time together. Plus celebrating the wonderful Life that will be joining the world next month with a baby shower.


12 February 2009

What About Love? Some/thing Borrowed

This is Part 3 of a blog carnival from The Other Mother, celebrating Freedom to Marry Week.

I had to think about this one for a bit - I am grown up and out of the house. I used to borrow my mom's clothes while in high school (she worked in an office - I was so NOT chic!) and I tried to save most of my clothes left at the house during various stages from my sister, who is three years younger.

However, while looking around the house, I realized I had a lot of items that were borrowed. In my living room is a couch my ex didn't take when we split, along with a handmade tv stand. They work well, although I have reached the point that I would like a new couch.

But, the piece de resistance is my dining room table. This was picked up by my ex out in Wichita and dragged out when we moved East, then buried in my parents' shed for the last three years. My kids have grown, as they are wont to do, and my small kitchen-size table was just two little to fit the three of us comfortably any more. So, I absconded with the table. With three center leaves, I could have a dinner party.

If I would ever let anyone see the inside of my apartment. Maybe after spring cleaning...

11 February 2009

What About Love? Some/thing New

I am participating in the blog carnival sponsored by The Other Mother. The theme is the wedding customs Something Old, New, Borrowed, Blue - celebrating Freedom to Marry Week.

Something new to enter my Life this past year has been my gardening. I currently live on the first floor of a triple decker apartment house, with a postage stamp backyard and even less out front. However, when one of the sisters on the second floor moved away, I was given access to the plot of land next to the front walkway. About 20 square feet, it sure didn't meet my dreams of cornrows or pumpkin patches, but it was still a place to plant seeds.

I hope I am starting to become a throwback to my grandfather. I grew up in a multi-generational household, and my childhood home, while less than an acre of land, was pure bounty and beauty. Vegetables and flowers all over, lilac bushes bordering the yard, wild raspberries next to the garage, and enough rabbits and woodchucks to please our fierce Siamese hunter. It was a place to watch plants grow, flowers bloom - and was totally underappreciated in my youth.

We eventually moved, and it forced my grandfather to have a smaller patch, just a few rows of roses and other flowers. Then he grew too sick to keep that up. My grandfather has been gone for over thirteen years now - but I am finally seeing that his spirit still continues.

10 February 2009

I So Resolve...and I Am Not the Only One

It's Day 3 of Freedom to Marry Week. The theme this year is Seven Conversations in Seven Days.

I am happy to see that people are not afraid to be honest about what they do believe about marriage equality. Some people can sound the rallying cry and get their walking boots on to march over and over again. Others, worn down in spirit by constant battles against those who do not support it, but also by non-inclusive language (it's hard for some to remember that Bs & Ts do not necessarily equal a "gay or lesbian couple"). Whatever the view, wherever you fall on the bell curve of support, I still believe it comes down to Love. Being with the one you Love and knowing that no one deny that relationship - whatever you want to call it.

So, today I signed the Marriage Resolution, and I am not the only one.
Follow the resolution link above and you can too.

What About Love? Some/thing Old

I am joining the Blog Carnival, hosted by The Other Mother, celebrating Freedom to Marry Week and the old wedding traditions: old, new, borrowed, blue.

Two of the oldest things I have are two of my most cherished: my cat Mookie and Mr. Bear.

Mr. Bear came into my Life when I was in kindergarten. I was a brief Navy brat, traveling base to base from ages 2 - 6, when in the middle of my first year of school my mother, sister and I moved back to upstate NY and in with my paternal grandparents and uncle while my father finished his tour.

It was a hard adjustment - new state, new home, new school, new friends. I was sharing a small room with my sister, and a bathroom with five other people. Although, the bathroom was also my parents' room, so they shared even more.

During this time I discovered an old small storage ottoman in the living room, filled with various toys that survived two boys using them: lots of green army men, cars, and an old stuffed bear. No eyes, no real fur and fully jointed, he became my best friend. I have taken him everywhere with me, and he still sits in my window now.

Mookie came into my Life when I moved off campus for my senior year in 1992. I had always wanted a cat of my own. I had parakeets and a hamster, but as you get older they don't seem as real. They cannot cuddle with you on the bed, wind around your ankles or trade on the mutual love and affection that a cat would.

As you see, I was living in my own fantasy world about having a cat.

So, before heading back to college I went to the local shelter. I knew exactly what I wanted: a small, female cat, preferably a kitten, but maybe a few months old. I wanted a black cat, or maybe a calico. I wandered through the kittens area, which they had a few, and then down to the lower levels where some of the others were kept.

There, in the midst of short haired stripes and solid browns, sat a large two-year old male cat with long grey fur and huge golden eyes. The shelter employee took a look and said, "Oh, you don't want him. He bites. He's been pretty unfriendly to the people here."

We stared at each other: me judging everything I had desired to this point, and the words given to me - I opened the cage and took him in my arms.. He judged everything he'd been through the last six months at the shelter - and began to purr.

I told him on the ride home I was changing his name. Cause Mookie was very silly, I didn't know how his previous owner came up with Mookie anyway and I didn't really like the name Mookie. And he talked back every time I said his name. I gave up that notion by the end of the drive home.

So, needless to say, this has been the dynamic in our sixteen-year relationship. I talk, he does whatever he wants. It has gotten us through moves cross-country, marriage and divorce, addition of another cat and two kids to the family. He deigns to give us all affection, and knows he deserves it in return. I expect him to outlive us all.

09 February 2009

I Have Freedom...Sometimes, Somewheres

There are some places in my country and others that I would be free to be married to someone of the same sex:

Massachusetts. Connecticut. California (for around 20 weeks this year). New York (if it is from another state where it is legal).

Canada. Belgium. Norway. The Netherlands. South Africa. Spain.

There are other states and countries that recognize civil unions and/or domestic partnerships - not the name of marriage. In some cases, not the protections of a marriage contract.

My girlfriend's is having a baby. I am flying in next month hoping that this child will remember the schedule we have discussed more and more frequently as the due date approaches (Yes, I know how unlikely that is - I've had two of my own).

But, we aren't married. Nor does she live in one of the above states. (I do. But anyways...) The possibility of not being allowed in when she gives birth, while small, is still a possibility. Really? We could be denied access to our loved ones because we do not have a piece of paper? We do not have the right to be with the one we love?

Sure, we could file for health proxies, second parent adoptions, joint tenancy of homes, powers of attorney, wills and living trusts, etc. etc...but with the simple word "marriage", at least in the United States, most of these are commonly accepted as given. Why should LGBTs have to jump through hoops to be entitled to what heterosexuals do? Why should we be denied it because we aren't allowed to have this piece of paper?

There is a lot of talk about religion. There is a lot of talk about rights. There is a lot of talk about beliefs, values and discrimination.

I live in a country that was founded on Freedom. Why then do we not apply it evenly? For everyone? Where is the Love in that?

08 February 2009

Still Waters Still Shape

I am not a forceful presence on this planet. I am not one of the waves that comes on shore and pulls the sand to other locations. I am not an activist, nor do I see myself ever leading a charge for Change. But, I do have my values, my beliefs, my Truth. As does everyone. And, like everyone else, I am entitled to them nor do I try to force others to my will (Well, I don't at least. I know that doesn't hold true for everyone.)

But, even knowing my waters run slower and quieter, they still run into the ocean. I am a part of the vast pool of Life - as I am a part of this.

Today is the beginning of Freedom to Marry Week. I will be joining hundreds of other bloggers telling tales, spreading news, sharing Hope. Seven Conversations in Seven Days.

My waters may just be a drop in the ocean...but we make a difference.

07 February 2009

The Only Agenda is Love

"The Only Agenda is Love" is a blogswarm event beginning Monday. Bloggers from the LGBT community and allies will be participating to promote Freedom to Marry Week.

I'll be writing along, posting my thoughts and following The Other Mother cross event on the marriage theme "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue".

Stay tuned!